A bridged version

Ho, stalwart varlet. Art thou the one hight John Little, who y-claim mastery of this bridge, and wouldst let no wight cross without toll? Fetch thee a stout quartstaff, for I would contend with thee.
Buggrit, I dropped the quarterstaff. Again.
Sorry, monkey-boy, this whole "Robin Hood with Cats" production just isn't going to work.