Lotion (Placenta is a Crazy Place)¹

Freud to Jung, 1911:
NO must resist temptation... must not chase up Jung's pursuit of Gnosticism and pancake jellyfish imagery in medieval alchemy... must resist the birth / afterbirth theme in Gnostic cosmogony... the placenta symbolising the imperfect, irreal, derivative universe we occupy -- the creation of an incompetent Demiurge, in imitation of the real universe -- flung together from stucco and pebbledash. For that way lies madness, or Philip K. Dick novels, or a blogpost about Truthers, or some combination of all three.

Instead, by way of homage to a recent Respectful Insolence post about the culinary / medicinal possibilities of placentae, let us marvel at the wonder (or even vice versa) that is the Authentic Swiss MFIII Placenta Anti-Aging range.²

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! Why would you take a parasitical, flesh-dissolving, invasive tissue that burrows into the uterine lining and sucks out nutrients in the manner of mistletoe, and swallow it / inject it / smear it on as DNA Face Serum? NO GOOD WILL COME OF THIS.
It is the craziest thing since snail-slime spa treatment, or the Hagfish facials and Cyclostome-dermabrasive face lift which we have nearly perfected at the Riddled Cosmetoquackery Clinique. It is almost as crazy as Botanical Placenta skin tablets, from the same supplier:


But now we have embarked aboard HMS Doctor Grift, the medical-tourism Ship of Fools, we might as well look at some of the fine products from MFIII's parent company Lab-DOM Suisse, directly or through its subsidiary Lab-RMS.³

Products like MyoPep (a.k.a MyoSlim, a.k.a. MyoSport; sounds legit):

The natural ingredients in MYOPEP activate a multi-dimensional cascade of fat loss processes primarily through myostatin-inhibition.
a proprietary amino acid complex capable of inducing a pharmaceutical grade effect in human muscle and adipose fat function, specifically developed for application in aesthetic, sports and regenerative medicine.

Because the intended clients of Placebo DNA Face-creme are not alone in their generosity with disposable income and their absence of skepticism; there are also the body-dysmorphic muscle-head narcissists.

And EnhancePep:

a new TGA-certified sexual health supplement that acts as an advanced libido booster and sexual performance enhancer, and a preventive system against potential future onset of erectile dysfunction and sexual disorders for both men and women.

They weren't likely to neglect that lucrative market, were they?
Then we read of

Lab Dom's senior medical consultant Prof. Dr. Richard DeAndrea

which is a name to conjure in the scammosphere. Can Magical Immune-boosting protein GcMAF be far away?
No-one in the GcMAF industry seems to worry about cheapening the brand.
Other Lab-RMS products are left as an exercise for the reader.
1. Title link here.
In the interests of full disclosure we note that "the famous placets of the alchemist Paracelsus" may not exist outside the pages of Locus Solus.

2. Being legally headquartered in Switzerland provides the company with imagery of pristine Alpine purity, but it primarily targets Asian suckers. Its founders and owners (Mike Chan and Michelle Wong) recently sold the brand to NexGen, which is a Hong Kong / Malaysian empire with an inordinate fondness for Helvetian branding. Buy your Anointable Afterbirth now before the price goes up!

3. Lab-RMS is a collaboration between Lab-DOM and Vasilis Paspaliaris of Adistem and Tithon Biotech -- previously a Melbourne-based stem-cell entrepreneur, but stem-sell medical-tourism therapy seems to be losing its lustre in recent years. The RMS is "Regenerative Medical Solutions".

Twenty years ago, Vasilis Paspaliaris was a brilliant young scholar with a PhD in parathyroid-hormone-related-protein and a promising research career ahead of him. Now he leverages the synergies with innovative amino-acid combinations to burn fat and build muscle and restore virility. It is hard to predict the trajectory one's life will follow.