Villagers call her: quicklime girl Behind her back: quicklime girl Behind the bush: quicklime girl

This is not the first time we remark on the delightful personalities and lofty ethics of the people involved, by way of explining why the GcMAF Alt-Med industry features so frequently at Riddled. Usually the topic comes up just before or just after Evangeline van Holsterin (head barmaid at the Old Entomologist) has described the Riddled staff as "All loonies".

Which brings us, by way of illustration, to Kerri Rivera, purveyor of Water Hydroxide alkalinising water concentrate -- which is to say, lime-water -- and other accoutrements to her KerriKeto Diet.*

The last time we looked in on Ms Rivera, she appeared to be collaborating on GcMAF.la, a Latin-American franchise or metastasis of GcMAF distribution, along with Trevor Banks (a central figure in the movement).

I emphasise the "appeared" there. The website itself is the work of Banks, and conforms to his stylistic preferences, centred as always on personal testimonials to the wonder-working product (written in the generic but heartfelt conventions of Penthouse Letters); also he moderates the companion Faceborg page. The evidence for Kerri's involvement is limited to those testimonals, many of them addressed to her.

Now Kerri is best-known among historians of Alt-Med shenanigans through her previous gig, where she offered a cure for autism in the form of Chlorine Dioxide enemas -- that is, industrial bleach -- under the scambrella of Jim Humble and his Church of Bleach. Until she abjured her bleach-away-the-illness moneymaker when it attracted attention from consumer-protection agencies.** Now many of the testimonials at GcMAF.la thank Kerri for the CD and the enemata, and mention the 'parasites' eliminated by the juvenile recipients of the anal sacrament (which is to say, the sloughed strips of intestinal mucosal tissue). So it may be that Kerri continued to sell CD on the sly, but also possible that Trevor Banks simply copy-pasted testimonials from her CD career and repurposed them for his own grift, forgetting to change all the details because hopeless cockwomble.

Thank you Trevor Banks!!!! I thank god everyday for Kerri Rivera CD and GCMAF! We have our daughter back and we are so close to recovery!!!!

All that is by the way of backstory. GcMAF.la still exists, but only as a ghost-town where the denizens are tumbleweeds, coyotes and 'Westworld' cosplayers. For GcMAF was replaced in the Alt-Med scammocopoeia by "GOleic", which in turn was supplanted by a quite a good new thing called Rerum®... which had the advantages that its ingredients are cheaply available, and generally certified as no worse than placebos. So Trevor Banks moved on to parasitising Rerum® with his own cut-price knock-off product, "Omnia". We shall draw a discreet veil over "ReViVe" (Candice Lee-Bradstreet's attempt to latch onto the same moneyteat) for CamelCase is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.



Anyways, Ms Rivera's current artistic practice was modelled on Heinz Reinwald (Swiss political economist turned Alt-Med entrepreneur), most notably the "ketogenic diet" part; and since Reinwald commands the distribution of Rerum®, it was no surprise to find her aboard the chondroitin sulphate / Oleic acid / vitamin D bandwagon, with her own not-at-all-commodity blend of now-familiar ingredient. Rivera could teach lessons to Depression-era bindlestiffs in "How to leap onto moving wagons".

The webstore informs us (by way of a price comparison) that established competitors Marco Ruggiero and Trevor Banks are grasping price-gouging charlatans:

That sounds like the way to win over consumers! "Everyone associated with this concoction is an untrustworthy grifter, including its inventor, therefore buy my homebake imitation."


We also learn from Dora's reportage that Marco Ruggiero is not trying to undercut his competitors at the low end of the market. Recall that his latest step to stand out in the Alt-Med bazaar is "Immortalis", a ready-mixed cocktail of Chondroitin sulphate and bacteria, offering not the mere remission of sickness but immortality itself. Ruggiero's new business associates are finally accepting payment for Immortalis... €6750 for three bottles of pills, a three-month supply.
That's going to add up if you are taking pills for the rest of your (unnaturally-extended) life. But not to fear, larger quantities are discounted, only €12000 for six bottles or €21000 for an entire year's package. For the prospect of saving 22% by buying in bulk might well tip the balance for some wealthy barmpot wavering on whether to pay that sort of $$$ for dried-frog capsules.

* People who bought Hydroxide Water were also sufficiently gullible to buy kilogram bags of clay (for internal use, "only as directed") and of "organic sulphur".

MSM is Methylsulphonylmethane; you know it's natural because of the easily-pronounceable name! It is a well-establishedpart of the Alt-Materia-Medica, possibly a legacy of old folk remedies involving sulphur and socks.


** Kerri Rivera no longer sells industrial bleach herself; she merely promotes it as an Autism Cure out of pure philanthropy, and sells her time by the hour advising how to enemate it properly. Fiona O'Leary has conducted no end of background research on Rivera's determination to go on bestowing bleach baths and enemas upon infants and children, vicariously -- through spreading the Chlorine Gospel to other parents -- now that opportunities to perform them in person arise less often.

Rivera is not formally listed as a participant in Jim Humble's "Spirit of Health" con-man trade-fair in Berlin in early March, but she plans to attend anyway. It will be an emotional reunion from previous scamborees.