Grisly smiles that don't flake off (#2)
"Remind me again," said Another Kiwi, "why we are wiring Old Jem up to the Facial-Muscle Faradiser.""It is to ensure that he tells the truth," I reminded him again. "If facial-analysis software can...
View ArticleIn the country of the two-eyed, the Cyclops is proud of the superior vision...
Gaw-lee, Hugh Kenner: you use your mouth purdier than a $20 whore! ...when words have lost meaning you may be very fluent with them, as fluent as the narrator of the "Eumaeus" section of Ulysses, who...
View ArticleThus do I refute Alex Jones
Alex Jones is hopelessly ill-informed on the limits of modern biotechnology.You can put three heads on a man’s shoulders, and two heads on a woman’s shoulders— that’s a known anatomy. You can tell that...
View ArticleBefore paintings of dogs playing pool...
We had to make do with woodcuts of lions playing Backgammon. You kids today don't know how easy you have it.
View ArticleMooncalf Maunder Minimum
So there we were, laying a trail of hay to lead a pair of bovine alien-bait or "cows" from the Cattle Mutilation Field Station into the Evolvamat.It started with Another Kiwi vouchsafing his skepticism...
View ArticleThinking about a Plate of Shrimp
"Take a look at this identity line-up of Cambrian lobopods, sir. Do you recognise...""Him! That one on the right! That's the one I saw evolving into an Anomalocarid!"There is much to love about...
View ArticleNew from the Riddled Gifte Shoppe
Novelty Toyen-inspired hotwater-bottle covers!Because it's feckin' cold here.
View ArticleDances with Wolves
Can anyone advise me as to the name of the dance style? I am trying to keep up with the language of kids these days."Das Xxxij Capitel" is totally not the name of a nightclub.
View ArticleThere are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream...
Have you ever noticed how weird and distorted people look when they are underwater, with their faces pressed hard up against the inside of the aquarium glass, pulling expressions and trying to hold...
View ArticleShadows of a Thousand Years
As Gene Wolfe has observed, the workings of Narrativium and the Morphogenetic Field are not limited to the usual constraints of causality:When Stelarc dons his Laser eyes......and his bioengineered...
View ArticleSkull-blogging: face changing now, guernsey cow edition
Here at Riddled Research Laboratory we are punctilious to the point of pedantry about mad-science ethics. We cannot countenance any violation of the three Golden Rules of Research:1. Photoshopped image...
View ArticleOne Unpleasaunce is much like another: they differ only in the number and...
When it is Spring in your part of the world and you saunter out blinking into the unfamiliar experience of 'sunlight', only to discover that the garden has run somewhat to seed, we cannot recommend the...
View ArticleWe are not monsters, we're moral people: Chairman of the Bored edition
Helpful commentatoriser Helmut Monotreme was wondering the other day:Really? Scientifically dubious, unethical stem cell therapy as a treatment for autism. Dare I ask if that particular treatment has...
View ArticleHelp!
I am being held captive in Winchester and made to work on maximum-likelihood multidimensional scaling algorithms!Posting will be light, so here is a photograph of feral babies claiming another victim.
View ArticleDateline: Stuttgart
Fuck off backpack. I'm sick of carrying you around.Sisyphus had it easy. Also too, because you're all so interested in stereoscopic vision, here is BONUS STEREO FUSION FAIL courtesy of the Stuttgart...
View ArticleTravel oddvisory
One thing you learn at conferences is what a skwirl looks like after random phase shifts.Now in Budapest, after the night train from Belgrade. The latter city is noted in the Metronomicon* for...
View ArticleSmut, don't drink it!
It is a general rule that no pissant Northern European country is truly independent until it has its own heinous liqueur, for the olds to sip as an indigestif so that local cuisine tastes better in...
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