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Dear suckers people attending 'Scientific Federation' scamferences

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You should probably know that when you send your name, contact details and moneys to the clueless wazzcock running the scam, he leaves all that information out on the Interlattice.


The spreadsheet is full of duplications, blank lines and test entries from Reddy and his little helpers, leaving less than 300 actual suckers. Still, I can't be arsed writing a script that emails each of them individually.

Adrift just off the Islets of Langerhans: Latitude 38° 54' N, Longitude 77° 00' 13" W -- Plz send beer and Raquel Welch

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This is the best way EVAH to finish a scientific preprint:
We are designing a circuit for communication with DNA and we hypothesize that cancer can be cured via this method.


The author of "A Mathematical Model for DNA" rests his hope of chromosomal colloquy on an analogy between DNA molecules and electrical circuitry, with base pairs variously filling the roles of capacitors, resistors and diodes, while the telomere ribose chains are the ULF aerials. Although the bases are also one-dimensional point-like hexagonal manifolds arrayed along a one-dimensional manifold. Meanwhile delta functions and integral signs are force-marched across the page like a diaspora of stooped weeping refugees.
This is of interest to the Riddled Research Laboratory and Musuem of Hay-baling Technology, for it comes perilously close to rediscovering the proprietory methods which power the Riddled Evolvamat.

Contra Sepehri, we do not recommend entering into radio communication with one's DNA. It is OK for the 4th Doctor to enter his own brain as a miniaturised clone and talk to his own genes, for he knows what he's doing, and he had a barbarian warrior babe for company. You cannot imagine the unrelieved dullness of the intracellular conversation. It is all vapid gossip about which chromosomes were first to line up between the mitotic poles at the last metaphase, and who made most replication errors during S-phase, and the high-point of the last episode of "Ow My Balls".
Below: Raquel Welch and fellow nano-nauts
ignore conversational gambits from chromosomes
Pioneers in this field of DNA dialog were Blank & Goodman [2011], who characterised DNA as an electrically-conductive broadband fractal antenna, much as John Cleese characterised named his parrot "Holy Roman Empire" because it was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire. While Montagnier et al. [2009] reported that their cargo-cult bricolage of bamboo sticks and old tin boxes* could detect a ULF radio signature from bacterial and viral DNA (with ~300 km wavelengths)... even detecting it from water diluted so that no bacteria or viruses remained, proving that water nano-assemblies had learned to imitate the pathogens, therefore homeopathy. This was too much like an episode of 'Fringe' even by the standards of the Mad Scientist Anti-Defamation League. Anyway, Sepehri cites both these seminal studies... he omits Aterini & Ruggiero's [2011] commentary on Blank & Goodman but we cannot condemn him harshly for that.

The crux or gist of "A Mathematical Model for DNA" -- the crist of it, even -- is that cancer occurs when a base acquires or loses an atom from its central molecular-model hexagon, so the now-heptagonal or pentagonal nature of its one-dimensional manifold alters the frequency of that chromosome's transmissions, thereby propagating the defect to the corresponding chromosome in neighbouring cells. I do not think that this is how cancer works and we can only conclude Sepehri's chromosomes have lied to him in the course of their conversations. However, it does provide an excuse to break out the Alchemical Wedding imagery (yay!)... for Sepehri concludes that if a male and female both suffer from cancer, they can prevent the progress of the disease by staying in close proximity -- because the EM signatures of their respective XY and XX sex-chromosome pairs will cancel out and rectify each other's errant frequencies (radiating as they do with opposite signs). I am not making this up.

FIG. 27: To remove extra signals of a damaged DNA in males, we can use of damaged DNA in females

Finally, if we put a damaged DNA molecule of a male or a female near a damaged DNA of a female or male, their radiated waves cancel the effect of each other and disease progression is stopped. This is because the types of packing of DNA are different in some chromosomes of men and women and consequently their signals have opposite signs and can cancel the effect of each other in a pair.
The descent of the Male and Female principles into the night-of-the-soul state of Nigredo or Putrefactio -- to be mutually healed and completed within hermaphroditic union -- is Serious Business and should not be tried at home. It requires a decent-sized alembic; also the Male and Female principles often struggle when they realise what is about to happen.

Also, why were we not previously appraised that Luc Montagnier had collaborated with Emilio Del Giudice on a paper of water-bending fritillary calenture hatstand?

A pair of watery reciprocating cranks
That was a true reciprocation of watery cranks. We remember Del Giudice as the inventor of Quantum Water -- the second phase of liquid water, involving room-temperature long-range coherence wibble plus the quantum-vacuum phase-angle going kattywampus. His methods were unsound absolute baldestdash [which is like balderdash, but in superlative form rather than comparative], but they did sustain a genre of aqueous magical-thinking journals.


Del Giudice never recovered his health and sanity after his attempts to reconstruct the Waterbox ("probably the most delicate and fragile instrument ever made by human hands") -- invented but poorly-documented by de Selby as a way of diluting water to a point where it could be handled safely. "There is more to water than meets the eye," wrote de Selby, by way of explaining why three heavy coal-hammers were destroyed during its construction.

Here Zerros demonstrates the proper way of communicating with the genetic memories of water.

* If you are in possession of such equipment please hand it into the nearest police station.

Stalking Matilda, Stalking Matilda She took out a restraining order on me And I sang as I sat there Watching how the bunny boiled Who'll place a restraining order on me?

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The Lazy-Arse Mockademic- Spam Blogging* will continue until morale improves:

"SciRes Literature" have ambition, a CamelCase name and a slogan and a logo stolen from student-debt-relief scammers, and they have recruited a White-House-worthy roster of Administrative Chiefs... including a jewelry designer, an Internet-Famous troll-blogger, and some person with an implausible hyphenated name.

If the last is young Sharlene of the Essex Carneys then it is good to see that she married into a better family than we could ever have expected.

Also a Rom-Com character as Chief Associate... it is tempting but also otiose to ask "Associate What?"

But they need to buck their ideas up if they want to expand out of the spare room of Apartment 121C... Can anyone see what they are doing wrong with these attempts to scrounge a paper about the Riddled Dream Machine out of us?

Anyone? Space-Time Eddie? No, Swearing Bob, you can put your hand down, the class is sufficiently familiar with your opinions and vocabulary. Stop flapping, Greenish Hugh, no-one is trying to force an opinion out of you, there is not enough gin in the First-Aid supplies for that. Ah, Louie Carthorse. Yes?

Louie is correct, to an extent... It is true that contrary to the tradition, the publishers were somehow unable to sign up Drs Blum or Badgaiyan onto the Editorial Boards of any of their journal-shaped toxic-waste dumps. But that is not a dispositive failing. Rather than tuft-hunting for recognised names, many parasitical publishers these days are recruiting their Editors and the organisers of their scamferences from the inhabitants of heavy planets, all flattened and squat by the high gravity of their home-worlds (with a few etoliated low-gravity visitors for the sake of diversity).

No... It is not enough to update the deadline in the annoying repetitive spam and spoof a new sending address (to evade simple domain-based spam blocking). That is where SciResLit stepped back on their own kumara. Best Industry Practice nowdays is to adopt a tone of increasingly passive-aggressive belligerence about the lack of response to previous harassment, working up towards a spammogram in which the image of a boiled bunny accompanies the title "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE US DO BY IGNORING US". Written in Comic Sans.

So here are "Stella Sun" (or Edith, or Eva, or Maggie) and "Dora Dong" (or Anne) and "Ms. Rikky Han", three poorly-disguised socktoplasmic pseudopods of the BIT travel-agency scampire. They have penciled me into their programs as Keynote Speaker and are more saddened than angered by the inconvenience I am causing with my inconsiderate failure to confirm.
Do ya feel guilty, punk?

In other restraining-order developments: the creepy surveillance strategy of "Academic Star" is not news. Along with fellow Chinese fraudsters"David Publishing", they have been claiming American nationality and offering friendship to the subjects of their scrutiny for over five years, acquiring the programs of (genuine) conferences for the purpose of stalking attendees. In that time they have not altered the wording of their spam... perhaps in the belief that We wish to become your friends if necessary is something that a human might write.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: jmer@academicstar.us [mailto:jmer@academicstar.us]
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2017 3:17 PM
Subject: Call for papers and Invitation from Journal of Modern Education Review (ISSN 2155-7993), USA ICLC 2017

Dear ,
This is Journal of Modern Education Review (ISSN 2155-7993), a professional journal published worldwide by Academic Star Publishing Company, New York, NY, USA. We have learned your paper 
"[REDACTED]" at 
14th International Cognitive Linguistics ConferenceWe are very interested to publish your paper in the Journal of Modern Education Review. If you have the idea of making our journal a vehicle for your research interests, please send the electronic version of your paper to us through email in MS word format. All your original and unpublished papers are welcome

Hope to keep in touch by email and publish some papers or books from you and your friends in USA. As an American academic publishing group, we wish to become your friends if necessary. We also want to invite some people to be our reviewers or become our editorial board members. If you are interested in our journal, you can send your CV to us. You can find our sample paper in the attachment. Expect to get your reply soon. 

Best regards,

Anna
Journal of Modern Education Review
Academic Star Publishing Company
education@academicstar.usteaching@academicstar.us
228 East 45th Street,Ground Floor, #CN00000267 New York NY 10017 USA
TEL: 347-566-2153, 347-566-2247  Fax: 646-619-4168

jmer@academicstar.us


Stealing from Oglaf is an
old tradition among my people
From:psychology@davidpublishing.com[mailto:psychology@davidpublishing.com]
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2017 2:48 PM
Subject: Invitation from a New Journal, the sample of PSYCHOLOGY RESEARCH is attached

From Knowledge to Wisdom
Psychology Research
International Standard Serial Number: 2159-5542; and online ISSN: 2159-5550
Frequency: monthly   DOI: 10.17265/2159-5542

Dear Mr/Ms
We have learned your paper abstract [REDACTED](PSYART) on The 11th Annual International Conference on Psychology, and we are interested in its research. Therefore, we invite you to submit this paper  if it is not published or other unpublished papers in psychology area to Psychology Research.
The new journal of Psychology Research, a peer-reviewed, multidisciplinary periodicals published by David Publishing Company, USA, since July, 2011, welcomes the submission of original manuscripts reporting innovations or investigations in the Psychology area. Successful general submission manuscripts may report interdisciplinary efforts or be of a sufficiently broad nature to be of interest to those centered in related disciplines. Manuscripts reporting innovations or collaborations leading to enhancements in Psychology are of particular interest to Psychology Research.
If you have the idea of making our journals as vehicles for your research interests, please send your WORD format manuscripts (papers or books) through e-mails/submission system (for more details refer journal Web page). We appreciate your support.
We also seek researchers who have deep research in and outstanding contribution to Psychology area to be our reviewers/editors. Good review board has insightful understanding in Psychology field, and can provide professional suggestions to authors. Anyone who is interested in our journals can send us CV. We are looking forward to your contribution!

Sincerely yours,
Lily, R.
Editor Office
Psychology Research, ISSN 2159-5542
David Publishing Company
E-mail:psychology@davidpublishing.org; psychology@davidpublishing.com
 psychology2159@yahoo.comand psychology@davidpublisher.net

Welcome to visit our Website at: 
Tel: 1-323-984-7526, 323-410-1082; Fax: 1-323-984-7374, 323-908-0457
Psychology Research
-------------------------------------------------------------------
So all the cool kids are contributing to the gaiety of nations by pwning the parasitical publishers with joke submissions; this costs nothing, and reassures prospective customers of these scholarly jizzrags that (Yes indeed) they will soak up anything, so everyone benefits. Some would say that "Breaking the ice with buxom grapefruits" and "Mitochondria" are no stupider than the material they publish without pwnish provocation --
With horsiness
-- but I could not possibly comment. Anyway, your Riddled staff are feeling the peer-group pressure to get involved in the fun. Crowd-source the whole thing? Perhaps a conference presentation on "Somatotypes and the Editorial Personality: Adaptation to high- and low-gravity planets among parasitic conference organisers"? We are open to suggestions.

*
Parasite Conference OUTTAKE:
Until last year, 'Pulsus' was a niche publisher of Canadian specialist medical journals. But the proprietor wanted to retire, and in lieu of any other buyer he sold the concern to the OMICS griftdozer.
14th Annual
Pulsus was promptly gutted, re-stuffed and turned into a Conference Scam fuckpuppet, pimping dozens of freshly-minted mockademic pop-ups per month, such as the 22nd World Congress on Cognitive Behavioural Science and Therapy (there is no record of the earlier 21 prestigious congresses in the series). The same process of OMICS assimilation occurred to 'Allied Academies', previously a somewhat tawdry but obscure publisher, now a full-blast firehose of fraudulence with the same template of pox-parties that in terms of structure and content are unlikely to reach 1 on the Bristol Stool Scale.

These scabby little pop-ups often lack the frippery of a Program, which could be a sign of the new OMICS owners' need for the quick bucks, or it could be to save the attendees from the risk of being spammed by scamming chundermuffins. In fact, such is their haste, the grifters cannot even round up enough heavy-planet refugees to form Organising Committees.

Some of the people spending their own or their universities' dosh to attend these embarrassing events must be genuinely defrauded naïfs, but suckers alone would not provide enough of a money-stream to make the whole industry so attractive.

Very deep is the well of the past barrel of low-life junk-science grifting. Should we not call it bottomless?

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OUTTAKE2: The Updating.

Here at the Riddled Research Laboratory and Reverse Sausage Manufactory we are feeling popular and very truly run after. For it is not only "Anna" at Alliance Star who acquired a copy of a conference program and is now offering to publish our presentation from it while promising to love us long time. For the same conference program has come to the attention of "Maydim Malkov" at an International Journal, who is also bidding for that same presentation!

Closer examination reveals that "Journalofbioscience.org" and "journaloflanguage.org" are socktoplasmic excrescences oflegendaryChinese spammers"Science Publishing Group". Maydim Malkov is a real person who made the mistake of submitting a paper for another of their journal-shaped garbage chutes, and in the manner of an Alzabo they have stolen his/her identity.

From: Maydim Malkov [mailto:submission@journalbioscience.org]
Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2017 12:49 AM
To: $AUTHOR

Subject: To $AUTHOR: Invitation for Paper Publication from International Journal of Language and Linguistics

International Journal of Language and Linguistics (ISSN Print: 2330-0205, Online: 2330-0221)
http://www.journaloflanguage.org
Current Issue: Vol.5, No.3, 2017
Dear $AUTHOR,
Greetings from the editorial office of International Journal of Language and Linguistics (ISSN: 2330-0205), an Open Access journal which publishes original research papers.
We get to know your paper titled $TITLEfrom International Cognitive Linguistics Conference:Linguistic Diversity and Cognitive Linguistics, and your topic is so much impressive.
We hope to publish this interesting paper in our journal. Would you like to share your papers with other scholars in this field? If you have any interest, please feel free to email us your paper manuscript in the attachment at any of your convenience.
Meanwhile, to enhance the academic communication between scholars, we are seeking professionals to join our Editorial Board or reviewer team. If you are interested, you are encouraged to send your Resume to us.
International Journal of Language and Linguistics
Subject Coverage
Philology, Historical linguistics, History of language, Communication, Professional discourse, Language and globalization, German language, Psycholinguistics, Introductory textbooks, Language education & teaching, Research methods, Syntax, Language and law, Applied linguistics , Comparative linguistics, Discourse analysis, Descriptive linguistics , Language and gender, English language, Second language learning, etc.
Journal Indexing
ResearchBib, CNKI SCHOLAR, JournalSeek, Academickeys, CrossRef, EZB, Zeitschriftendatenbank, MIAR, etc.
We are looking forward to a fruitful cooperation with you.
Best Regards,
Editorial Office of International Journal of Language and Linguistics
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Somehow the title 'AcadeMickeys' for a journal-indexing service does not bestow the intended sense of credibility.

This whole genre of post-conference solicitation has inspired serious academic reports, devoted to the off-putting uncanny-valley nature of the names and language it features. One shudders to think of the meta-solicitation spam inundating the authors of those presentations, once the spammers find their addresses.

But wait, a challenger appears! The lovable American Chinese scallywags at David Publishing have scraped or purchased the same list of conference attendees, and here's 'Betty Hinshaw' with a slightly belated solicitation!

From: linguist@davidpublishing.com [mailto:linguist@davidpublishing.com]
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2017 7:45 PM
To: $AUTHOR

Subject: Special Issue on Cognitive Linguistics
 
       
         US-China Foreign Language              Sino-US English Teaching         
                         DOI: 10.17265/1539-8080                                                         DOI: 10.17265/1539-8072                       
ISSN 1539-8080 (Print)                                                                 ISSN 1539-8072 (Print)
    ISSN 1935-9667 (Online)                                                                 ISSN 1935-9675 (Online)
              
                                          
Call for Papers or Books              
Dear  $AUTHOR
These are US-China Foreign Languageand Sino-US English Teaching, the professional journals published across the United States by David Publishing Company, Chicago, IL, USA. We have learnt the abstract
named:  $TITLE at“International Cognitive Linguistics Conference: Linguistic Diversity and Cognitive Linguistics (ICLC 14)”. We are very interested in your research field. If the paper mentioned has not been published in other journals and you have the idea of making our journal as a vehicle for your research interests, please send us the English version of your paper in MS word format. And if the paper has been published, all your other original and unpublished papers are also welcome.

As an American academic publishing group, we want to invite some people to be our reviewers or become our editorial board members. If you are interested in our journal, please send us your CV.
Should you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us. Thank you for your reply.

Best regards,

Betty Hinshaw
Editorial Office
US-China Foreign Language, ISSN1539-8080, USA
Sino-US English Teaching, ISSN1539-8072, USA
David Publishing Company
616 Corporate Way, Suite 2-4876, Valley Cottage, NY 10989, USA

E-mail: linguist@davidpublishing.orgus2003language@hotmail.com, linguist@davidpublishing.com
Tel: 1-323-9847526, 1-323-410-1082; Fax: 1-323-9847374, 1-323-9080457

Description
US-China Foreign Language and Sino-US English Teachingare monthly professional academic journals, are striving to provide the best platform for researchers and scholars worldwide to exchange their latest findings and results. There is an English version for our journals and your contribution to our journals would be very much welcome! Current columns involve Literary Criticism, Translation Studies, Linguistics Research, English Teaching, and Intercultural Studies, etc.

Publication Ethics and Malpractice
US-China Foreign Language and Sino-US English Teaching commit to uphold highest publication ethics and malpractice statements. All the authors submitting their works should sign our copy right agreement states our publication policy.
---------------------------------------------------------------
It is good to know that they uphold the highest standards of malpractice.

Great is the temptation to write to all three gangs of grifters to inform them of the competition, and let them fight among themselves. But I should probably wait to hear an offer from SCIRP -- a 4th Chinese band of puke-funnelling mockademic moochers.

Reassuring: White House contains fewer than three preschoolers

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John Decker: The President announced on Twitter that there's no chaos at the White House. How would you describe what has happened over the course of the past ten days?

Sanders: I have said it before, if you want to see chaos, come to my house with three preschoolers.This doesn’t hold a candle to that.

Messrs ¼maine, @kins and S&erson from The Demolished Man would like a word, or a logogram

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Wh@ TF? Whackyweedia contributor is droll, or has never encountered Twitter, or indeed my abbrevi8d Dad-phone texting. Hilarity is 4thcoming.
In Old English manuscripts, the Tironian "et" served as both a phonetic and morphological place holder. For instance a Tironian "et" between two words would be phonetically pronounced "ond" and would mean "and". However, if the Tironian "et" followed the letter "s", then it would be phonetically pronounced "sond" and mean water .... This additional function of a phonetic as well as a conjunction placeholder has escaped formal Modern English; for example, one may not spell the word "sand" as "s&" (although this occurs in an informal style practised on certain internet forums).

I know they'll find her some day They find them all that way After the thaw in springtime The snow melts away

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Your ever-lovin' Uncle Smut has been busy in the Stupid Fields, collecting a circus cavalcade of science-shaped advertisements for live-cell med-scam products. All issuing from Dmitry Klokol and the other talking-bear prostitutes at 'Stellar Biomolecular Innovations', and then stovepiped through parasite junk journals in the hope of limning the advertised products in a warm light of credibility and scholarly rectitude. Thereby bringing the whole story into the ambit of Riddled, as it touches on all the usual Riddled obsessions (though not including goats, bicycles or trebuchets), so pay attention, there may be a snap test at the end.

The gravitas-bestowing pukefunnel publishers in question regard "bottom of the barrel" as a far-off aspirational goal. Gaze with wonder upon the understated web-design elegance of [I am not making this up]Basic Research Journals and Modern Research Publishers, with "Efficacy of the MFIII placenta extracts softgels supplementation" and "Efficacy of renal precursor stem cells in management of chronic kidney disease" respectively!

and an International Journal, with "Biohormonal Therapyin", while Lawarence Pressannounces "European Wellness" (which is the new Swiss Biological Medicine).


"Lawarence" because all the easily-spelled Western-sounding first names had already been taken by Gavin Publishers, Herbert Open Access Journals, Austin Publishing Group, Henry Publishing, Jacobs Publishing and their elks ilk, in accordance with Hyderabad tradition.

Inevitably the list includes a spigot from OMICS, the Ur-Trash of mockademic publishing scammers; and another from iMedPub -- a CamelCased OMICS imprint set up for discerning fastidious customers who want to see their incompetent wibble in print but don't want to be smeared with the OMICS reek of mendacity.


The contribution from Klokol and his colleagues at SBI to OAText is left until last, in case any undispelled doubt lingers in your mind that perhaps their talking-bear prostitution is mixed with a trace of sincere delusion about the value of the products they pimp.
For after advertising injections of lamb-brain smoothies to cure autism (with adjuvant treatments in the form of GcMAF-Forte™ and Mito Organelle™ organ-specific peptide extracts), there is this:
The therapeutic modalities described in this article should be applied along with other holistic treatments, ie. electromagnetic therapy, detoxification, hyperbaric oxygenation, transcranial electrostimulation, cyclotronic ionic resonance, etc.
Lately we have been working on integrating quantum medicine technologies into our holistic protocols. One of it is RASHA Morphogenetic Harmonizer System, developed in USA (Nevada). It combines the brilliant technologies of Nikola Tesla, Antoine Priorie’ and Dr. Royal Rife into one integrative quantum self-healthcare system. The RASHA is controlled by one of the most advanced scalar and Rife frequency generating software technology. When operated and activated by the software, selected frequencies (transverse waves) are transmitted through the dual scalar spiral coils that are then pulsed into the custom plasma gas tube. Plasma can transform transverse waves into longitudinal, scalar waves. Additionally, plasmas can also create phase conjugate waves or time-reversed waves [30].
The RASHA Morphogenetic Harmonizer System is a three-fold approach system. The RASHA simultaneously harmonizes the two systems in the body concerned with prevention and management of a malady (immune system) and regeneration of the damaged cells from that said malady (cellular regenerative system). However, its main purpose is to reverse the mutations in the introns (or junk DNA) via reprogramming the morphogenetic encryption lattice of the introns [30].
No dilithium crystals! I am disappoint. But no-one who regurged this hairball of wordwooze onto a page could possibly take any of it seriously.

One is relieved to learn that none of these fetal live-cell extracts and organ transplants come from China and you should not believe everything you saw in 'Dumplings'.

Also the suppliers are adamant that the cells are not human in origin, but are sourced from lambles and bunnies and vegetals. Yes indeed, vegetal placenta peptides are a thing.



All one needs to know about this animal-cell injection grift is that it's a century old, and was sinking into merciful oblivion. Then a fresh seam of newly-moneyed but still-gullible suckers emerged in Asia, open to the magical-thinking appeal of a Vital-Essence Qi Energy substance pervasive in unborn animules in the manner of Phlogiston and Caloric... extractable from them... most importantly, purchasable.

For some reason this target demographic thinks highly of Swiss Private Clinics, so the branding is all about images of Alpine purity. My own knowledge of Swiss medical innovation was hitherto limited to journalism and documentaries from the 1970s about rejuvenating pineal-gland extracts [SPOILER ALERT: ends badly], or possibly starring Klaus Kinski.


I have now watched 'A Cure for Wellness', in which stolid young engineer Hans Castorp visits a relative in an Alpine sanitorium and is prevailed upon to remain in its feverish but intellectually-stimulating rarefied atmosphere for the next seven years of labour on the instruments of time, NO WAIT that was 'Magic Mountain'.¹

Anyway... 'Stellar Biomolecular Innovations' is simply a fuckpuppet for Lab-RMS, a Helvetian-themed company operating out of offices in Malaysia and Hong Kong. SBI boasts a prestigious European address in downtown Frankfurt, but An der Welle 4 is a popular location for virtual-office mail-forwarding services. Also too the company's phone number is Malaysian, while managerial responsibilities devolve upon a low-level office drone in Penampang, Sabah (Malaysia). By the same token, the sister website at European-Wellness is coy about domain registration details, but it operates out of Kuala Lumpur, sharing an IP address and a Nexgen server with several hundred equally scam-related domains.*

Rose [without bloom]
The beneficiaries of this revival tried hard for a while to conflate their juiced-fetus products with the stem-cell scamwagon. Two recurring names were Mike Chan and Michelle Wong -- not just co-authors of ersatz-academia advertisements, also proprietors of 'Fetal Cell Technologies International'.² But the bloom has left the stem-cell rose, and their emphasis is now on peptide gland extracts, encapsulating the juvenescent vital energies for mail-order home consumption (with the advantage of evading any regulatory persecution of actual clinics in Switzerland). So the acronym FCTI has been retconned to stand for 'Frontier Cytobiological Therapies International'.

Lab-RMS and MF-Plus and Lab-DOM all belong to a tangled bank of companies and websites and holding corporations, a colonial entity akin to coral polyps and pterobranch worms, budding and sloughing new instantiations until it becomes difficult to determine which one owns or is owned by another. For convenience one might speak of them collectively as 'NexGen'.

A wee digression is in order. In canonical expansions of the GcMAF acronym, the origins of the Gc are lost in the mists of time. originally labelling a gene and the protein expressed by that gene (then generalised to derivatives of that protein), because Ga and Gb were already taken. But this nomenclature lacked enough verisimilitude-giving narrative-debalding corroborative detail to satisfy the innovators at Lab-RMS, so they retconned a folk etymology and advertise their product as "granulocyte colony macrophage activating factor" (possibly hoping for confusion withGcSF -- a profoundly different protein).
Plating a Boiler
And someone in the class was paying attention! For a willingness to steal adopt other people's scams new ideas is one defining characteristic -- along with their classy nature -- of the individuals in the GcMAF industry. Thus the only other Interduct appearance of this spurious explanation comes from the suppliers of the new market leader "GcMAFplus", in the boilerplate advertising template they provide to their webstore retailers.
The Hylauronic acid in all our products is pharmaceutical grade. Ours is formulated with a much higher molecular mass than other similar products. This helps boost anti-viral activities and stimulate an endogenyous production of Granulocyte Colony Macrophage Activating Factor.
Current dealers are "reactivatedwellness"; purelivinghealthandwellness"; wellnessevolution.com.au, and MWSdistributing.com³. The actual producers of the GcMAFplus range of protein-enriched leprechaun-sperm cancer-curing skin-creams and liniments prefer to remain anonymous. They claim a New Zealand provenance for their cow-colostrum feedstock, and used a Hong Kong address in draft versions of their website. You should remember this from previous Riddled coverage; if not, write out this webpage 100 times.
A Hyaluronan
Note that bit in the boilerplate where the lotions contain hyaluronic acid (a.k.a. hyaluronan), not just as an inert dilatant with useful viscosity properties, but as a synergistic ingredient in its own right. "Hyaluronans" sound like the alien antagonists in a mercifully-forgotten episode of OS Star Trek, but the stuff does exist, being a biological polymer found in synovial fluid, obtained by boiling naked mole rats cartilaginous animal parts at some expense, or from vat-cultured bacteria. See, you learn stuff at Riddled. And credit for this innovation in GcMAF marketing again belongs to the creative Helvetasian gnomes at Lab-RMS / SBI:
GcMAF Forte by LAB RMS is formulated with high molecular weight hyaluronic acid (HMW-HA) to boost anti-cancer activities. HMW-HA has been linked to studies on longevity and cancer resistance in mammals. HMW-HA is found to stimulate the endogenous production of granulocyte colony macrophage activating factor (GcMAF) in healthy subjects and patients with cancer burden while low molecular weight HA does not have this immune powering effect.

Could the Lab-RMS people be the actual mystery suppliers of the GlycoPlus products?
HA! That is not a stupid idea, and we have indeed considered the possibility here at the Riddled Research Laboratory and Pterobranch Appreciation Club. But the GlycoPlus website is anonymised through an Icelandic IP address rather than the NexGen server, while the Lab-RMS crowd do not treat GcMAF as their core activity, and would have no reason for secrecy if they did. So "appropriation of someone else's idea" is more likely. There are FaceBukkake pages attributed to GlycoPlus and GlycoPlus Latin America, but these are solely the work of the retailers at "reactivatedwellness".



But what has become of Anni Diamond? Only two months ago she was the main outlet for the "GcMAFplus" range of leprechaun-sperm protein-enriched liniments -- identical to the GlycoPlus range but rebranded for the Asia-Pacific market. But now her Disease Lapdancing and Wellness Products webstores have been scrubbed clean, like her on-line advertisements and Cancer Diva and Dancing with Disease FaceBukkake pages, leaving only fading reverberations in Goofle Cache. Only a late arrival on the scene, Lucy Corrigan (Tasmania Woman) remains, as the sole Australian supplier of the Products.

It would be very wrong for people to join the private FB groups devoted to promoting and selling GcMAF products, and then to spread the speculation that Anni has been removed from the scene by Big Pharma hitclans.
------------------------
1. The immortalising eel theme in 'Cure for Wellness' comes from the undying carp in Aldous Huxley's 'After Many a Summer'. Trust me, I would not make these things up.

* Just a place-holder for a footnote to be elaborated tomorrow.
http://toppetpro.com/top-therapeutics/
http://www.exosomesforte.com/index.php

2. Wong and Chan's lists of accomplishments here are inspiring.

3. Margaret Wallace Shaver didn't get the memo about using "wellness" somewhere in the title.

Really, WashPost?

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Karen DeYoung, Washington Post, two days ago:
[Nikki Haley] said the United States had no plans to decrease its military exercises with North Korea, despite calls from China and Russia to do so, in exchange for gradual deescalation of its prohibited weapons activities.
On-line version was quietly though belatedly edited and now reads
She said the United States had no plans to decrease its military exercises with South Korea, despite calls from China and Russia to do so. 
The correction has not reached the various newspappers who trustingly syndicate WashPost stories. The two words have the same number of letters so it is an easy mistake to make.

Police did not report at what point the burglars realised what they were eating

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If this does not eventually feature in a Jemaine Clement movie I shall be very disappointed.

When frog-costume fetishism gets out of hand

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Possibly time to see the design to the Trump administration as "Foolproof new scheme for invading North Korea".

Skullblogging: Fragile Eggshell Mind edition

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Marcel Duchamp hommage? New treatment for migraines?



HA HA these suggestions are only japes of the leg-pull variety,and as any fule kno the image [above left] is really Marco Ruggiero -- a person of interest to Riddled -- ultra- scanning his head, using a LA523 linear-array soft-tissue probe (rather than a transcranial probe designed for the task of sending pulses through the skull and getting back a detectable echo) (because reasons).

This is reckless behaviour, and the Mad Scientist Anti-Defamation League is concerned for Professor Ruggiero's well-being. Really he should be performing these examinations upon villagefolk abducted from the lands around his castle, or upon unwary wayfarers who avail themselves of his hospitality, has he no respect for tradition? For Ruggiero's many contributions to the edifice of Science include his discovery that normal diagnostic-intensity ultrasound is far more biologically potent than previously believed, and in the hands of the talented radiologist a LA523 probe is a weapon OS Star-Trek Medical Tricorder, capable of many things like killing cancer, and opening the Blood-Brain Barrier to let drugs into the brain, and toggling gene function, so we go ahead and the meters are over in the red, It's a mistake in the making
OOPS Sorry we're getting some interference from the Riddled Prog-Rock Channel there. Anyway I am not making this up.
it is not surprising that there are genes in our DNA that are turned on by ultrasounds, and, by a leap of imagination, we could visualize someday having a remote control that lets us turn on or off genes [...] we noticed that ultrasound at certain frequencies can kill cancer cells, leaving the healthy cells unharmed.

Published results in prestigiousjournals focussed on the implication of this research for ME/CFS, which is why they featured transcranial scans of individuals (the authors) without ME/CFS.


The resulting choppy seas of ripples and artefacts reveal -- when viewed through the eyes of faith -- such fine structures as Cortical Layers V and VI, while closer to the surface, the main reflective density-discontinuity is identified as the temporal bone itself, 1.4-1.6 mm thick. Other ripples are the dura mater, 3.8-5 mm thick, and the subarachnoidal space, 0.6 mm. These values would be publishable in themselves, as usual widths for these structures have ranges like 2.5-5 mm, 1 mm and 3 mm respectively.* Perhaps the authors shared the same aberrant cranial anatomy, or their skulls had been pared down to eggshells by the ultrasound radiation.


Above: Twenty-seven 8-by-10 color glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the
back of each one explaining what each one was
Another slice of the salami was published in a journal of embryology and anatomy, and therefore was couched within a comparative-anatomy frame-story. Here for shits-'n'-giggles and for tequila-hangover enhancement purposes is that paper's Introduction, garishly colour-coded to distinguish the passages copy-pasted from Schwartz et al. (2004), Lieberman (2011), Carroll (2003) and Bruner et al. (2011).




So last Thursday night after the Old Entomologist Chaetognatha Phylogeny Debate Club and Poetry Slam, and after several pints of Old Iambic Pentametric Porter [brewed with real Iams for extra Taurine], we were inspired to put these discoveries to the test of replication, having exhausted the limerick-rhyme possibilities of 'chaetognatha'.

The contents of Another Kiwi's temporal lobe were not organised quite as neatly as we had anticipated.

Pay no attention to Open Mike's complaints about "Can't find my pate" side-effects, he is just acting out and being a sook.


It was rather disturbing to find that the contents of Space-Time Eddie's skull were looking back at us.

Then we were subject to fits of hysterica shouting and even laughter, which could be the first signs of Sonic Attack, or just the usual sequelae of Old Iambic.
--------------------------------------------------------
* In another paper from the same group, Bradstreet et al. report that the subarachnoidal space is non-echoic and is vanishingly thin in normal children ("< 0.05 cm"), citing Authorities:
consistent with published observations of equally minimal EAF in children ages 2 and older (Lam et al., 2001), i.e., measuring <0.03 cm.
Thus we must question these authors' ability to read as well as their radiographic competence, for the actual values in Lam et al. are larger by a factor of 10, while in practice the space is hypoechoic (because full of trabeculae).
--------------------------------------------------------
When Marco Ruggiero attended the Inaugural GcMAF Congress (in Frankfurt, April 2013) as the newly-appointed Scientific Director of Immuno Biotech, his head-scanning party trick was hailed as one of the Highlights :
Professor Ruggiero demonstrated transcranial sonography, where the effects of an administration of GcMAF can be immediately seen on brain scans, and how the same technology can be used to improve the wellbeing of those with ME/CFS.


Such was its success that popular demand insisted a repeat performance at the 2nd GcMAF Congress (in Dubai, December 2013). Here Ruggiero passed on his expertise in repurposing ultrasonography equipment, finding meningeal details unknown to mainstream anatomy, and restoring brain function by way of sonic massage, all with professional-development points:


Alas, the recent disappearance of the "gcmafconference.org" website leaves us without the details of the professional body providing the Level One Certification.

Ruggiero was also a major attraction at the 3rd Congress (back in Frankfurt in 2014), but he was occupied by new responsibilities and collaborations with the DrReinwald Group -- purveyors of diet supplements, magic water and coloured-light-and-theremin-music Healing Machines, also co-sponsor of the Congress. So no ultrasonography on show CHIZ CHIZ.

Ha ha, nice try

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Some shitweasel at Bentham Open Sores spammed me with an invitation to inform them of any email addresses that are currently not inundated with spam:



This is me shaking my head.

I sent them Thundra's address instead.

The age of big data

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I keep telling SPSS what numbers and p-values I want, but does it oblige?
DOES IT BOGROLL.

That escalated quickly

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More adventures in spam! Huzzah!

Some sketchy dude from a one-man vanity publisher (International Frequency Sensor Association) would like me to recycle a JOSA A paper into a chapter for his book -- with a minimum of "14 or 16 pages" -- and pay him €680. He doesn't know which paper from JOSA A he has in mind.
---------------------------------------------------
From: Prof., Dr. Sergey Y. Yurish, Editor-in-Chief [mailto:syurish@sensorsportal.com]
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2017 9:55 PM
To: $AUTHOR
Subject: Your article in OSA’s Journal of the Optical Society of America A: feedback

02.06.2017, 11:55:01
Delivered to: $E_ADDRESS

Dear Author !

Taking into account the topic of your article and big interest from readers to this topic, it is my great pleasure to invite you to extend or/and change your article(s) published in OSA’s Journal of the Optical Society of America A (ISSN 1520-8532) and submit it as a book chapter(s) for our open access book titled 'Advances in Optics: Reviews' Book Series, Vol. 1, which will be published by IFSA Publishing (Barcelona, Spain) in 2017.

Topics of Interest include (but not limited to):

             Optical and Fibre Optical Sensors and Instrumentation
             $ALL_INCLUSIVE_LIST_OF_IRRELEVANT_TOPICS
             Optical Microscopy of Composites

Please check more details, requirements, conditions and book’s chapter template on our web site:

http://www.sensorsportal.com/HTML/Advances_in_Optics_Vol_1_CfC.htm

Deadline for chapters is 31 August 2017.

The minimum pages number is 14 or 16, the maximum page number is not limited.

The publication fee is 680.00 EUR per chapter. Authors from low and low middle income countries:
http://www.sensorsportal.com/DOWNLOADS/World_Bankank_list_of_economics_2016.pdf
will have a discount.

Please let me know if you are interesting to submit a book chapter. We need your reply in order to reserve a space in the coming book’s volume.

Waiting for your kind reply.

With best wishes,
Sincerely,
Prof., Dr. Sergey Y. Yurish,
Editor-in-Chief
IFSA Publishing, S.L.
Parc UPC-PMT, Edifici RDIT-K2M
c/ Esteve Terradas, 1
08860 Castelldefels, Barcelona, Spain
Tel.: +34 696067716
E-mail: editor@sensorsportal.com
Web: http://www.sensorsportal.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Sensorsportal

- End –
==============================
Message ID: 8BX2Y1GQISXAF6SF
---------------------------------------------------
I advised Professor Dr Yurish that I was not"interesting to submit a book chapter" -- albeit in intemperate terms, for self-plagiarism is not well-thought-of in academic circles, so the solicitation was insulting.
Actual reply not copied here for fear of self-plagiarism.
---------------------------------------------------
From: Sergey Y. Yurish [mailto:SYurish@sensorsportal.com]
Sent: Saturday, June 03, 2017 12:08 AM
To: $AUTHOR
Subject: Re: Your article in OSA’s Journal of the Optical Society of America A: feedback

Dear $AUTHOR,

Does the feedback about your article titled $TITLE published in the  OSA’s Journal of the Optical Society of America A is a fucking scammy spam ? I think the OSA's journal's editors and administration in your university will be very interesting to see your reply (copy in forward) as well as to make the right decision do not publish any more articles from/with the inadequate person.

Regards,

Prof. Sergey Y. Yurish
Editor-in-Chief
And there the conversation rests.

Cheap looksist body-shaming jokes department

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That Steve Bannon dude really needs to put a little more effort into his appearance.

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come

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New Zealand is closed for mourning. Flags hang at half-mast, patriotic citizens wear armbands of Fuligin (the colour that is blacker than black), and no coffees are served other than Long Blacks, for a mighty pinetree has fallen.

But there is a silver lining to every sow's ear. For the great man's biographies emphasise his Common Touch, as a Man of the People -- a term of art meaning that he was as thick as two short slabs of macrocarpa -- and Col'n 'Pinetree' Meads distinguished himself in his dotage by pimping a Electric Bleach Water Cancer Cure (sold for $100/bottle by some organic-farm dickwad and a cashiered doctor). Thus the calamity provides a convenient segway to goings-on in the exciting world of Alt-Med!

It's been a while since we last visited the 40 St Benedict St (Auckland) premises of Michael Kelly and his colleagues at Natural Solutions, a lot of electric bleach water has passed under the bridge, and sedulous Riddled readers have been wondering what medical discoveries have emerged from there lately. I am not entirely sure what 'sedulous' means, but it sounds enough like a disease that medscammers probably offer a cure for it.

Mr Kelly has a colourful career, literally, in the sense of his Gemstone Chromatic Vibrational Healing Technology. Videhis biography, he learned "Dynamic Radiometric Thermal Diagnostics" and "Dielectric Resonance Management Procedures" in 2004. Followed in 2005 by training in "Biological Terrain Managment"
utilizing analysis of Saliva and Urine for health assessment and intervention recommendations.
If you are costumed as a giant M&M or 25-million-mg acid-tab, in preparation to be speared through the chest in an all-M&M production of Götterdämmerung, chromatic gemstone vibronic therapy will help you wear the suit with the hole in correct alighment.



All this, and much more (movement focused exercises, chinese herbs, positive mental attitudes) to overcome his own lymphoma, in the manner of Harrison Wintergreen, and in accordance with the Wounded Healer Shamanic Origin Story Archetype. The initiation into the Sufic Tradition came earlier in 1992.

This is all the more impressive when we learn from company records that Kelly was resident on Waiheke Island all the while, founding a succession of short-lived and swiftly-liquidated businesses, before establishing Farside Bar & Cafe... which morphed into the Vibronics Tuning Centre... which became Vibronic Health... and most recently Natural Health Ltd.

Of more interest here are the companies Natural Solutions NZ and Immuno Biotech. Through the associatedwebstores and FB page our man distributes life-style accountrements and GcMAF-themed merchandise from a regular friend of Riddled, fermented-milk impresario Marco Ruggiero. Originally the magic medicinal yoghurt itself, Bravo, and the more-recent non-dairy yoghurt, and now the Stuff itself, Rerum®. All comprising the Ruggiero Protocol, né the Swiss Protocol. Rerum is such a successful and much-run-after blend of cheap ingredients that it has already inspired not one, not three, but two imitative knock-offs from rivals in the GcMAF community -- ReViVe from Candice Bradstreet and Omnia from Trevor Banks.

Someone tell Candice: God hates CamelCase
In fact Kelly aspires to be the only distributor of these products, and he has devoted a webpage to disparaging other outlets, which stand accused of using the same photographs of the manufacturer's packaging of natural frozen-yoghurt suppositories.
It's about ethics in snakeoil advertising

Another webpage shows Jeff Bradstreet -- disgraced and deceased autism-exploitation charlatan -- endorsing Natural Solutions as a purveyor of fine fermented-milk products. Except the screen-grab has been retouched... perhaps as a homage to Bradstreet's career of mendacity, or as a display of commitment to the sanctity of intellectual property... and his actual blog endorsed one of those rival suppliers.
Spot the difference


The other two buttocks of the St Benedicts nates were Immuno Biotech and Rerum.biz. In a further genuflection to originality of content, the former website pretended that the company was a branch of David Noakes' Guernsey-based GcMAF dispensary of the same name. Until last year it presented itself as an actual clinic, offering 'Licensed Medical Immunotherapy', though the agency of this licensure is unclear. The company boasted a co-director for a while, in the person of Ulrich-bero Doering, a doctor of the Rudolf Steiner school of flamboyant fabulation, who prescribed GcMAF as part of his artistic practice (in addition to sea-cucumber squeezins and homeopathic mistletoe extract).

Be that as it may -- we refuse to be side-tracked -- as part of promoting its wares, Natural Solutions plays host to no end of Rerum-related material. One finds there a PPT prepared for a recent Fulda scamboree, in which Dr Antonucci boasts of an 80% success rate in treating 40 children with autism (best not to inquire what became of the other 260 children he treated). But especially there are Ruggiero advertorials from a journal-shaped midden from a parasitical publisher, Journal of Ruggiero StudiesAm.J.Immunol.

Here's a new one:


"What in the name of Azathoth is E. coli's Vaccine?" wonders the reader, for that is a whole nother kettle of red herrings, where tales abound of Innovative Galilean Genius Disdained by Mainstream Science. But here at Riddled HQ we are not so distractible, and we prefer to shift our focus with laser-like singelemindedness to the TBL-12 side of Michael Kelly's catalogue.



TBL-12 is a veritable seafood salad of sponge and sea-cucumber squeezins, shark-fin, and hitherto undreamt-of quantities of exporto grass, although the shark-related ingredient has been swept under the carpet of "other marine products" in deference to contemporary conservationist sensibilities. It comes with its own Wounded Healer origin story, at one generation removed, wherein the proprietor's father cured his own cancer when a kindly Chinese sage initiated him into the secret of the age-old recipe.

The proprietor received a few admonishing words from the Advertising Standards Authority about the illegality of claiming actual curative properties for his product, forcing him to tone down his rhetoric. No such constraint applies to the Website of Testimonials (which is totally independent), nor of course to Natural Solutions.

Persuaded by some encouraging test-tube and Phase-II trials five years ago, the FDA granted the stuff the status of "orphan drug" for multiple myeloma, in case anyone wants to research it further (the enthusiastic and ambitious researcher conducting those trials seems to have obtained the desired promotion and is now pursuing other interests). This permission is treated as an FDA endorsement because of course it is.

So here's cricketing legend Martin Crowe, praising the cucumber squeezins for curing his own cancer [not multiple myeloma], just before it killed him. What is it about New Zealand sports celebrities sacrificing their reputations for the cause of cancer flimflam?
New Zealand cricketing great Martin Crowe is focusing on passion and forgiveness as he relies on natural remedies to keep him going through until next month's Cricket World Cup.
The 52-year-old has given up chemotherapy, but says his energy is returning and he is sleeping 14 hours most days.
...
"I'm taking a product called TBL-12, which is a marine supplement mainly made of sea cucumbers from the Pacific Islands. I've been taking it for about three to four months.
Another lady was not a sports celebrity, but was related to one, which was enough to convince a court to grant compassionate release from her false-promise-related jail term when she was dying of stomach cancer so she could spend her final weeks making cancer-cure false promises.

Bonus Pinetree because Oglaf
Naturally here at Riddled we are seeking to recruit a terminally-ill athlete to promote our own healing elixir -- extracted from crunched numbers -- though so far we have only managed to sign up Greenish Hugh, who was Te Awamutu Tiddly-Winks Champion 2-½ years running, and is feeling a trifle fragile after too much Christmas Ale.


Fresh-caught uncrunched numbers


Additional ingredients

* One wonders whether Nu-Image International Ltd (1999-2005) was in any way related to the infamous Nu-Food.

Polar bears on ice-skates

Someone is Wrong on the Interweb in the Tory tabloid press

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Reporting on medscamming malpractice, the Evening Standard provides their version of the backstory at the industry-mandated rate of one paragraph break per sentence:
One treatment Dr O’Connell is accused of practising involves injecting the pig gut hormone secretin into patients.
The use of the hormone is based on the theory that autism is caused by the “autistic enterocolitis” disease – an illness invented by the now struck-off British doctor Andrew Wakefield.
The GMC is also investigating whether Dr O’Connell used the potentially dangerous treatment of chelation, which clears the body of lead and mercury.
...
Chelation as a form of treatment links back to another of Wakefield’s claims that childhood vaccines cause mercury to build up in the body which, in turn, leads to autism.
 H/t Brian Deer. Steve Silberman swallows the Standard's dramatised history (but his methods are unsound):


Question to Radio Yerevan: Is it true that the secretin fad was inspired by Wakefield's fabrication of “autistic enterocolitis” in 1998 in the UK, and that Wakefield* also claimed that autism is a form of mercury poisoning caused by the thimerosal used in vaccines?

Radio Yerevan replies: In principle, yes. Except that
1. The Secretin fad began in 1996 in Baltimore, and spread through word-of-mouth and a privately-circulated document [Beck & Beck 1998], with the first formal publication of anecdotes [Horvath et al. 1998] predating Wakefield's claims.

2. Wakefield's fabricated leaky-gut syndrome was never mentioned by any of the true believers in the Secretin cure, or news reports, or in the speculations as to how a digestive-secretion stimulant might help, or by failed attempts to replicate its claimed results [Dunn-Geier et al. 2000; Sturmey 2005]

3. The thimerosal-in-vaccines-causes-autism story began in 2001 as one of the less funny jokes in Medical Hypotheses[Bernard et al. 2001], in which Wakefield et al. [1998] are cited only tangentially (in the antepenultimate line in Table 1). Wakefield's claims did not reach the authors' threshold of relevance when the same journal gave us Blaxill, Redwood & Bernard [2004] and Geier & Geier [2005], or when Bradstreet et al.** [2003] opted for the John Birch Society Medical Journal as a vehicle for their purity-of-body-fluids theories. The Geiers showed no familiarity with Wakefields oeuvre when they went on to monetarise the story, selling their expert testimony in court, then selling the chelation scam. Nor did the other chelation propheteer, Boyd Haley, industrial chemist and professional expert witness who believes that Alzheimer's Disease is caused by dental fillings [Haley 2006]. Wakefield's fraud had long been exposed when a failed politician went looking for an ambulance to chase and climbed aboard the mercury scamwagon in 2005.

4. Wakefield's grift has always targetted the MMR vaccine, which contains no mercury.

[Radio Yerevan format stolen from Yastreblyansky]
---------------------------------------------------------------
* Whose father was an elderly baboon and his mother a standing reproach among she-asses, may apes void upon the fallen Tablets of his race.

** Jeff Bradstreet was a broad-spectrum conman who never saw a grift he didn't want to steal.

If I have seen further than other men, it is by taking heroic steps forward on the back of the elephant in the corner of the room

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The meaning of the title is not clear, and I can only suppose that the author intended it as some sort of Discworld homage.

New band name!

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