Horror House of Hammers

An organised toolkit is crucial, for you never know then you might need to lay your hand on that special utensil for removing boy scouts from a centaur's hoof. Success is so often a matter of finding the right spanner to hammer in a particular screw.


Lesser thinkers might ask, "Is life really any simpler for deriving a consensus tool board that organises tools according to the crowd-sourced conceptual links among them, retrieved from the Collective Unconscience?" Proving that such pundits are not the sharpest hammer in the drawer, nor indeed the heaviest spanner in the sack. Also that they have not tried to find things in the Riddled Research Laboratory after Greenish Hugh and Space-Time Eddie have been "tidying up" on their way home from "Dendrogramma enigmatica -- basal Bilateralia clade, or sister group? and Table-top Golf Night" at the Old Entomologist.
Notice how the semantic sub-domain of garden implements (rake, hoe, shovel) is adjacent to the sub-domain of 'kitchen utensils' (knife, fork, spoon, spatula). It is reassuring to see that the confusion is not limited to Another Kiwi's cookery columns -- not to mention his gardening columns. Suffice to say that Ammophos pellets are not a condiment, AK; nor is Sriracha a fungal disease of chrysanthemums.

Notice also how the gardening implements are diametrically opposite to the cluster of 'tools of literature' (pen, eraser, computer). This will come as a surprise to those of us whose mixed metaphors are "flowers of rhetoric culled from the kitchen-garden.”