"Sir Chengine" is my Steampunk name

Hi,
My name is J****** and I'm an independent web strategist. While doing research I came across your business website and found several issues. Specifically, it is not fully Penguin 3.0 & Panda compliant with Google's new search engine rules and I see there are toxic links pointing to your site. You have the potential to do much better!

Whenever I find good companies with online issues I tend to reach out and let them know, In 20 minutes I can show you how you could fuel your brand and generate more revenue from search engines and social networks. These are tactics we've used to help over 300 clients grow their business and we are currently "The Leading Internet marketing Company in New Zealand"!

All I'd like to do is follow up about this with a quick phone call.... Can I call you this week to discuss some proven strategies that can help your business grow? Looking forward to your positive response.

Kind Regards,

J******* E*****
Grow Business Rankings
21 Paraite Road
New Plymouth
Hi Scuzzy Internet Grifter! You seem to have left the 's' out of your street name, inviting confusion with with the actual business based on Paraite Road, which sells animal fodder.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.But J******* is right that our website is clearly not optimised for search injuns. I checked the logs and it appears that we are attracting searches for the following term combinations:

• crucified women
• st leonards church shoreditch old magazine advertising sketches
• vowel trapezium
• aircraft floaters
• bobbit worm gif
• egg drop cage with straws
• eunicid worm
• i remember lemuria
• is there such thing as a 2 legged amphibian
• "oppositional defiant disorder" rudolf steiner

• muscle wrestling chloroform submission

Conversely, there is no sign of incoming traffic from searchers for terms corresponding to the Riddled core activities of "My LittlePony"apotemnophila; vat-grown godmeat; Minotaur hentai; and of course Smut Clyde feet banana. This is very discouraging and speaks of a weakness in the website design, such as must be addressed before we invest further effort in on-going projects. What a tragedy it would be if we finished our Renaissance-woodcut animated adaptation of Return of the Sorceror and no-one came to it!
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Yes, J*******, please call us this week to discuss some proven strategies that can help our business grow! Though you should probably call the palatial Riddled offices rather than trying to contact me through the university e-address. Don't be deterred if you find yourself speaking to Another Kiwi, he's quite harmless.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
In the meantime, here's a little møøse trying to escape from commenter ITTDGY. Or maybe it's trying to catch up with #22, but the numbers keep resetting.