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Teste moaning
George Gallup often receives testimonials about unsolicited semen:Evidence for the antidepressant properties of semen (Gallup, Burch, & Platek, 2002) is also revisited. Bolstered by additional data...
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If you build it they will come
Our investigations of parallel time-lines shows that the aliens prefer to hover over very small buildings, preferably Legoland-size, to make their spaceships look more impressive.It must be a...
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"Bugger," said Pooh, as he read that Australian Manuka honey had flooded the...
There is trouble here in the Shire, and bad feelings -- directed at our brash neighbours in Bree -- are running high enough for white-water-rafting adventure tourism. Specifically directed at the band...
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Along the world axisThe Empress lay sleeping #2
"Please, Uncle Smut!" begged absolutely no-one. "How about you cobble together all of Titian & workshop's paintings of golden showers, into an animated Gif?" And so it came to pass, IN ACCORDANCE...
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Latest from the Riddled Gifte-Shoppe
1. The latest model of our popular "Flying Nun" Surveillance Drone is now in-store. Also works at ground-level with wings retracted [right]! Undetectable by your neighbour!2. Solar-powered...
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When an eel bites your hand And it's not what you planned
That's a moray!*It is time to laugh -- in an affable and sympathetic fashion -- at two doctors writing for a medical journal, who were under the impression that "salutatory" is simply a longer version...
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"An elephant is very like a tree," said the first blind knitter, who had felt...
The other five blind Knitterati agreed, so they decided to yarn-bomb the animal.Evidently guerilla knittery of slow-moving megafauna is an old tradition.Left: Moose ©Superbass / CC-BY-SA-3.0 (via...
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H Snak
Curing herpetophobia, the Dream Machine way!Efficacious, and the side-effects reported by our research subjects are not unenjoyable.
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May contain wormwood
This is now a thing:For the next production, my cob-rewers favour a Porcini-infused Bière de Garde *. But then there is the trend among the local brewing noncognoscenti for seafood as a beer...
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Poison's in my bloodstream,poison's in my pride [#2]
Look at Figure 7. Just look at it.The electron microscopy depicts:1. Life-rings, arrows and other debris from the submarine Proteus -- last seen shrunken to nanominiaturised size and injected into the...
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For external use only.Avoid contact with eyes
The more you look at the self-promotive career of Dottori Gatti and Monanari, the stranger it looks; it is a fractal rabbit-hole made of smaller rabbit-holes. Like looking at your hand, I mean, have...
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Article 0
Crivens! What in the name of all that's incomprehensibabble is this?! It's as if the Deepak Chopra Random Platitude Generator fell in love with the SCIgen Parody Paper Algorithm and they decided to...
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"Why did this manuscript come back all soaked in cat urine"? "We thought you...
Hey monkey-boy! Why aren't we scientific authors yet? Other cats get physics-paper co-authorship! Even eedjit dogs!OK, you two write the text. Then I'll de-LOLcat the spelling and submit it to the...
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Mallory Ortberg homage blogging
You'll only feel a little prick.Yeah, well, you'd shrink too if it was your upper inner thigh under the needle.* You sure you've tattooed before?Lots of times. I practice on myself.You're not...
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Read the scene where gravity is pulling me around
Join the Science! Travel the world, meet exotic people, ask them to rate schematic drawings of lady-lumps according to attractiveness and apparent age!H/t NeuroskepticThere cannot be many cultures left...
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Agrocybe parasitica, also known as "Poplar mushroom"
Also known as "breakfast".Parasitises living or dead hardwood trees, with a special fondness for the native Tawa and the introduced poplar and elm, until it GETS IN MAH BELLY.
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Gnumismatics
Bitcoin have been replaced by gnomes in the Flaxmere criminal economy.That vanished garden gnome, all those photographs you received showing it in front of famous European landmarks, you thought it was...
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